Earning trust
What does it really mean to earn someone’s trust?
Earning trust isn’t something fast or simple
It’s not just a word you say and it’s done
It’s not one action and that’s enough
Real trust is built on small repeated moments
On that feeling of safety someone gets when they’re around you
On you keeping your word even when no one’s watching
It means the other person feels safe
They believe you
And they know you won’t hurt or disappoint them
Is trust only between people? Or also between you and yourself?
That’s such an important point
A lot of people focus on earning others’ trust
But they forget that the first step is trusting yourself
How can someone else believe in you if you don’t even believe in yourself
If you keep promising yourself things and breaking those promises
If you tell yourself you’ll do something but don’t
That starts to damage the way you see yourself
So trust isn’t just between you and others
It’s also between you and your own conscience
Between you and the person you see in the mirror
So how do you regain someone’s trust after you’ve lost it?
It’s way harder than earning it from the start
But not impossible
First thing you need to do is admit your mistake
Without too many excuses
Without running away from it
Sometimes a sincere “I’m sorry”
Can reopen a door that was closed
After that you need patience
Because someone who was let down once
Won’t feel safe with you again so quickly
Be honest
Avoid lying no matter how small
Show with your actions that you’ve really changed
And don’t expect instant results
Hearts need time
And trust, once broken
Comes back slowly
Can you lose someone’s trust even without meaning to?
Absolutely
Like when you laugh at a secret someone told you
Even if you’re just joking
Or when you make a promise and forget
Or when you show more attention to someone else right in front of someone who cares about you
These seem like little things
But the other person sees them as signs
Signs that you’re careless
That you’re not paying attention
And that’s when the doubts begin
You don’t have to cheat to break someone’s trust
Sometimes all it takes is neglect
Or being emotionally insensitive
Should we try to earn everyone’s trust?
Honestly, no
Not everyone needs to believe in us
Not everyone deserves that effort
There are people whose presence in your life truly matters
Like a life partner
A close friend
Family
Coworkers
With these people, building real trust is worth it
But not everyone you meet needs to trust you
And if you try to please everyone, you’ll end up losing yourself
Focus on those who matter
Make sure they feel safe with you
The rest
Keep a respectful, comfortable distance
Is trust permanent? Or can it disappear in a second?
Unfortunately
Trust can take months or even years to build
But it can collapse in a single moment
Especially if there’s a big lie
Or betrayal
Or being let down in a moment of need
That’s why keeping trust requires constant awareness
You have to ask yourself regularly
Am I really there for the person who trusts me
Am I respecting their feelings
Do they feel I’m a safe space or a source of stress
These questions matter
Because a relationship without trust
Is just an empty shell
What about children? How do we earn their trust?
Kids are way more intuitive than we think
They feel everything
If you promise them something and don’t follow through
If you yell at them without reason
If you share a secret they told you
All of this affects them deeply
To gain a child’s trust
They need to feel like you won’t betray them
That you actually listen
That you hug them when they’re upset
Not laugh at their tears or shame their feelings
Trust with kids begins with the little things
Like respecting what they say
Keeping your word
And if you mess up, apologizing
Saying sorry doesn’t make you weak in front of your child
On the contrary, it teaches them humanity
So do we have to keep watching ourselves all the time?
Not in a stressful way
But with awareness
You need to care about how you affect the people around you
To pay attention to your reactions
To your words that might hurt
To your actions that might shake someone’s heart who used to feel safe with you
That kind of awareness isn’t a burden
It’s part of growing up
Part of being a person who genuinely cares about real connection
Is there a difference between earning trust and being liked?
Definitely
People can like you because you’re funny
Or because you’re charming
Or even because of how you look
But trust is something else entirely
Trust means they see you as reliable
Someone who won’t betray them
Someone who tells the truth
Someone who’s there when needed
People may like you without trusting you
But when someone trusts you
They see you as something deeper than just casual affection
Does trust have anything to do with self-respect?
Yes
Sometimes we think we have to earn people’s trust even at the cost of ourselves
We give too much
We agree to things that make us uncomfortable
We apologize too often even when we didn’t do anything wrong
But that’s not trust
That’s self-abandonment
Real trust should be built on mutual respect
It doesn’t involve humiliation
Or pressure
Or fear of being left
If someone makes you lose yourself just to earn their trust
Then maybe they’re not someone worth it
And in the end?
Trust is a treasure
You don’t find it every day
And when you do
Hold on to it
Always be honest
Loyal
Clear
Let your actions speak before your words
And don’t forget
Earning trust starts from within
From being true to yourself
At peace with your values
And in harmony with your conscience
From there
Real relationships grow
Hearts feel safe
And love lasts
